How to Shop Department Stores

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

Unless you’re really into designer brands, you may tend to shy away from shopping in those oversized and somewhat overwhelming department stores.  If you’re anything like me, a fashionista on a budget that doesn’t get to locked into brands, then you already know that sleeping on department stores are a big no-no!

Although I do follow brands, and love to rock them whenever the pocketbook allows, I don’t go shopping in search of designer duds only. I tend to mix and match designer brands with more budget friendly, trendy pieces to create a look.  I spend the most money on shoes and purses, as I see them as an investment, and less money on actual clothing since I tend to recycle on a regular basis.

After countless shopping trips ending with empty hands and frustration, I decided to take the time to learn how to maximize my shopping experience in department stores:

1. Be Resourceful:  Visit the website of the department store of your choice to peruse look books and create wish lists to help make your shopping experience less stressful prior to entering the store.  Sign up for email blasts and weekly circulars/catalogs so that you can score coupons and other gifts/incentives!

2.  Focus:  Think of the department store as your one stop shop to invest in key pieces that can carry you through seasonal changes, and will stand the test of time.  Basics are a great place to start.  Look for basic pants, shoes and even blazers that can be mixed and matched back to some of the more trendier pieces that you currently own, or plan to acquire.

3. Strategy:  Shop by brand if you happen to find yourself in a mega department store like Saks.  If you happen to fall in love with a trendier piece, commit to keeping an eye on it as it is sure to go on sale!  Shop clearance and sale racks before looking at items at regular price.  Often times, you will find a great deal and walk away satisfied with your purchase and the price that you paid!  Don’t forget to check the outlets while you are waiting on your current fave to go on sale!

Try not to get discouraged as you work to maximize your shopping experience in department stores.  If you do the prep work prior to entering the store, you have already taken a major step toward making your experience a successful one.

Do you shop in department stores on a regular basis? Which of these tips do you plan on using for your next shopping experience?

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

By Reign Boxley-Martin

Scenario:  You’ve caught your boyfriend cheating, yet again.  You verbally accept his apology and agree to put the past behind you, yet secretly remain skeptical since this is not the first time.  You find yourself constantly picking fights with him and resort to snooping through his things when he’s not around to see if you can find new evidence of cheating.  Your verbal response says that you will forgive and forget.  Your actions say that you really haven’t forgiven or forgotten the past.

People tend to say what they think others want to hear, and then fail to follow through on the actions which serve as proof to their claims.  Unfortunately, promises and affirmations mean absolutely nothing without proof.  This is especially true when dealing with a repeat offender.  Do you know any repeat offenders?  Do you still trust that the words coming from that person’s mouth are sincere and can be trusted?  Or do you tend to blow them off and just wait for the action to follow? 

Why even put yourself in that position to begin with?  You can learn more about a person’s character by watching their behaviors toward others.  Instead of jumping into a relationship, make the decision to pace yourself to give the opposite party time to really show you who they are.  Keep in mind that this could take some time, so patience is key.  Use this time to observe, and find out whether or not their actions are different from the words they speak.  Taking the time to truly understand how a person’s actions correlate back to their words will often save you the time and energy of handing out the trust card, only to find that you misjudged later.

When you do the opposite of what you say, know that you are flushing your credibility down the drain.  You’ll get more respect from those around you for being honest and upfront.  On the flipside, take the time to observe others and how they interact with those around them.  Listen to the words that are coming from their lips, and watch to see if their actions are in sync.

 

At the end of the day, your actions will speak louder than words.  The person on the receiving end may not catch on until it’s too late, but trust, they will catch on.

With that, my friends, I leave you with a couple of words and actions that should go hand in hand:

• ·         If your apology is sincere, then act like it.  If you accept someone’s apology, then let it go.
• ·         If you tell someone that you are going to do something, then do it.
• ·         If you say that you love your significant other, act like it.
• ·         And last but certainly not least…
• ·         If you’re running around town claiming to be someone’s “ride or die”, then damn it…be their “ride or die”!

Been there, done that…lived the life, and just saying.

Nas Gives Back, So Can We

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

Nas recently started the Crowdtilt Campaign to help raise money for the family of Stanley Young, a widowed father of eight living in a Holiday Inn after they lost their home in a fire.  

Time is running out for Young and his eight children, as they will have to vacate their hotel by August 13^th.  Young has reached out to every resource available to him, including his church and has simply run out of options.

As of last week, the campaign was less than $3,000 away from its $50,000 goal bringing the Young family that much closer to having a permanent home.  The CrowdTilt Campaign exceeded their goal by more than $10,000 over the weekend! 

“I am also a single father, and we don’t get enough credit in this country. I’m committed to helping Stanley and his eight (yes 8!) kids. Moreover, I believe and hope that we should all, as a community, come together to help our fellow American men and women when they need us in desperate situations like this. See if you can’t find a few dollars to help the Youngs get back on their feet with me. We need to raise enough to extend their stay, and maybe even afford a down payment on a new house or something.”

                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                           -Nas on the CrowdTilt Campaign

What makes this story so amazing is the knowledge that this is not the first time that Nas has stepped up to give back.  Nas has also helped UNICEF with giving aid to the Horn of Africa and worked with Saving our Daughters ‘ 8^th Annual Bratz Doll Drive in New York.

One can’t help but to commend Nas on his efforts to give back to those in need.  The sheer fact that he is calling on the community to come together to help gives a sense of hope for the future, and serves as motivation for myself to find another way to give back to the community.

If Nas can do it between traveling the world, performances and everything else on his plate, then so can we.  While we all work hard for the material things and opportunities that come our way, think of the impact an entire community could make if everyone did a little something to help those in need.

Want to contribute to the cause?  There are only a few days left!

 

Visit www.crowdtilt.com/campaigns/help-the-young-family/description to donate.

If giving back to this particular cause is not your cup of tea, then I encourage you to find one that you are passionate about.  Maybe you enjoy working with children, or serving hot meals to the elderly or homeless.  There are organizations in most cities that cater to each of these causes and are often searching for volunteers.  Finding these organizations are as simple as visiting www.volunteermatch.org, typing “Volunteer Organizations in Your City” into Google Search or perusing the Yellow Pages of your city’s phone book.

So, what are you waiting for?

About to be there, about to do that…about to live that life, just saying.

Friend or Associate?

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

friend

n.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

associate

v. 

1. A companion; a comrade.

2. Having partial status or privileges.

I find that friendship is often carelessly thrown around like an old gym bag, and doesn’t seem to carry much meaning these days.  Maybe I’m just old school, but I am a true believer that everyone is not meant to be labeled as a friend.  Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly okay to have associates.  Both are needed for a balanced life.  The problem is that most are not able to decipher between the two, which often tends to lead to disagreements and hurt feelings.

Before you start to classify the people in your life, take a moment to really think about what it is that you want or need in a friendship.  I tend to look for qualities such as loyalty, reliability and trustworthiness.  I expect my friends to be open, honest and respectful of my time and feelings.  Of course, I only expect these things because I am willing to give them in return.

 

Do you have expectations of what a friend should be?

I expect my associates to understand that I will treat them with the same respect as a friend, but will also love and accept them from afar when necessary.  Harsh as that may sound, it is a true statement.  I typically won’t discuss anything personal with an associate, and the time that we spend together is very limited.  A lot of times you will have to classify an associate as such due to the actions, or lack thereof, on their part.  Maybe they are not as reliable or trustworthy as you would like.  Or you find that they are only respecting your time and/or feelings at their own convenience.

     

Determining where a person falls can be easy or difficult task.  Let’s be selfish for a second and think about where you see yourself in the next couple of years.  Does this person fit into the lifestyle that you are working towards?  Or does their presence in your life seem to hinder the progression?  A true friend will have knowledge of, and encourage your progression without being jealous or negative.  They will be open and honest with you if they feel that you are headed in the wrong direction, and will do what they can to help you get back on track.  An associate would most likely lack any insight into your personal goals because of the “long handled spoon” mentality.  

How many of you currently share personal details with your associates, only to find that it comes back to bite you in the behind?

 Associates can become close friends, but it is normally not something that happens overnight.  Taking the time to truly get to know one another will help you both to determine the direction of the relationship.  When you are getting to know someone, you have to be able to determine how much of your personal life should be shared.  Again, let’s be selfish and think about where this person fits into your current and future lifestyle and whether they meet your requirements to build a solid friendship.  Remember, everyone can’t be your friend, so tread lightly!

Been there, done that…lived the life, and just saying.

Are Shoe Clubs Really Worth It?

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

Sole Society, ShoeDazzle, JustFab…how many shoe clubs are you a member of?  What prompted you to join?  I must confess, I am a member of all three, but I only order from one.  I initially joined to keep track of fashion footwear trends, but found myself placing an order because there was a sale that I just couldn’t refuse.  Of course, I always charge it to the Fashion Blogger game, which keeps me from feeling guilty when shopping for new pieces to add to my closet.

Shoe clubs really came on the scene back in 2011, and were originally designed as a means for Shoe-aholics to get their hands on unique styles at affordable prices.  It’s probably safe to say that no one had any idea that this new shopping concept would blow up in a matter of one year.

Exactly one year ago, shoe clubs were regarded as a secret haven for shoe fanatics to go and feed their inner shoe demon.  Maybe my descriptions are a bit drastic, but just think about it.  There were no JustFab commercials featuring Kimora Lee Simmons, and ShoeDazzle’s latest and greatest were not constantly being plastered all over our Facebook timelines.  Exclusive shoe club shoppers rarely had to worry about being in the same room with someone wearing the exact same shoe.

      

Fast forward to 2012, when the shoe club phenom literally exploded.  There were commercials, and almost every fashion blogger was mentioning a shoe club in their outfit posts.  Next thing I know, my Facebook timeline is being flooded with photos and mentions of ShoeDazzle, JustFab and Sole Society to name a few.  I can only imagine how disgusted the originally shoe club members where.

Shoe clubs can no longer be used as a way to get our hands on exclusive styles.  The top three clubs are constantly running sales and promotions and there have been numerous times where I’ve seen two girls scoff at the fact that they are wearing the exact same shoe. 

So, this brings me back to my originally question.  Are shoe clubs really worth it?

If you love shoes, really big on fashion and don’t really care whether or not the next lady is rocking the same pair, then the answer is yes.  The deals are amazing, and the designers do a great job of keeping up with trends and creating new styles.  In most cases, shipping is free and there is some sort of rewards program that provides some sort of savings.  While everyone, their mom and their grandma knows about these clubs, they aren’t all buying from them.  The chances of running into someone wearing the same shoe are still pretty slim, but don’t expect this trend to last!

If you love shoes, wear more classic outfits (not very trendy) and like to wear things that can’t be found easily by others, then the answer is no.  If you tend to rely on your shoes as a focal point of your outfits, and don’t want to see someone else wearing the same shoe…then again, the answer is no.  However, if you’re addicted to shoe clubs, then your only hope will be to purchase new styles as soon as they are available.  This will give you a couple of weeks to rock your new shoes before anyone else has a chance to do so.  The caveat to this is that you will most likely miss out on the sales because you are purchasing in advance.

As a fashion blogger with a limited budget and a ton of creativity, I will continue to purchase for shoe clubs but only when I see something that I can’t live without.  Fortunately, I am not partial to any particular store/club; I love a good sale and am a complete sucker for pretty things.

What are your thoughts on the shoe club phenom, and will you continue to shop them?

Been there, done that…lived the life, and just saying. 

Ain't Nobody Had Time for Summertime!

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

Must be nice to gather up the family and head out on an extravagant Summer vacation every year, without a care in the world.  Nicole Richie and family recently took off on a yacht in the South of France…even the kids were living it up! 

Nicole Richie & Family enjoying a Summer vacation in the South of France

I’m not mad at her for living her life, but in my opinion, the media’s portrayal of the lavish lifestyle is so not realistic.  Money, cars and trips…yeah, that’s not my life.  My focus is realistic to the everyday lives of the average American.  So much so, that I have missed out on enjoying the fact that it is Summertime.  I can’t believe that I haven’t done anything!

No vacation, no fun, no relaxation…nothing.

I’m not a celebrity, and can’t quite afford the yacht in the South of France.  Maybe if I save for the next several years, then there is a very slim chance that I could be somewhere in the South of France, acting brand new (because I could) with my shades and big floppy hat.  To be honest, I’m not even sure that would be my choice for a vacation, but you all get the point.  Until then, I’ll just go with what I know because I still want to feel like I’ve had a Summer once it’s all said and done.

The Dog Days of Summer are here...

We have about a month left until school is back in session, and exactly 2 months until the first day of Autumn/Fall.  There are still a ton of activities out there to do, even if you’re short on time or money. 

Since there isn’t much time, or copious amounts of money, I’ve decided to put together a short list of things to fill up what little time remains now that we are officially in the Dog Days of Summer.

• Fun in the Sun: Visit the nearest waterpark or beach with a group of friends or family.  Look for coupons to help minimize cost, and save money by purchasing your tickets (try your local grocery store) before heading to the park.  A day at the beach typically won’t cost more than a couple of dollars for parking, especially if you pack a picnic lunch.  Luckily, I am about an hour away from 2 waterparks and a beach.  While we don’t frequent either on the regular, we have already been a couple of times this year.
• Family Time: Yes, we’re back to discussing good old family time!  It’s important!  Grab the kids and head to your local museum or zoo for the day.  Have a Children’s Museum in your city? Even better!  These museums are typically great for all ages, even adults, and are not very costly.  Taking my nephew to the Children’s Museum was one of the most fun days that we’ve had in a long time.  I can’t wait for him to come down for a visit so that I can take him to the zoo.
• Entertainment: Grab a movie, spend some time in an arcade or catch an outdoor concert.  Most major cities have venues that host concerts by popular music artists that are easy on the pockets, simply because you are outside.  While I’m not much of an arcade type of girl, and I don’t really like being outside, I do plan to catch up on a couple of movies.  I’ve also been stalking Ticket Master for the next concert to take place at my local outdoor Pavilions and other venues.

There are many benefits to volunteering!

• Give Back:  Find an organization that stands for something near and dear to your heart, and get involved by volunteering.  This is a great way to burn time and calories (if you need too, lol) and you’re also doing a good thing by helping others.  I am planning to volunteer at the local Food Bank, and will be looking for a Big Sister program that I can join in the next couple of weeks.
•  Make Money: Host a garage sale, or clean out your closet by selling to resale shops.  You may even lead to a new hobby or even business venture!  I am taking the opportunity to clean out old closets and will get rid of stuff that I don’t need by selling it in a garage sale at the end of the Summer.
•  “Honey Do” List:  Knock out some of the things on your “Honey Do List”.  Think about it, if you get it out of the way now, then you won’t have to be bothered by it when you are busy!  I am planning to start a small garden of vegetables in my backyard.  Oh yeah, and the “honey” will be getting a new list to include preliminary plans for a vacation to be taken in the next 9 months.

Hopefully this is enough to keep us all busy, and keeps us all from lusting over that Yacht experience in the South of France.  I’m not saying that it can’t happen, but let’s be realistic and take advantage of the resources that are available to us to make the most of the last couple of weeks.

Soon, you’ll be buying backpacks, fighting school zone traffic and helping with those aggravating multiplication tables after you clear off the dinner table.  So, enjoy the remainder of your Summer while you can!

About to be there, about to do that…about to live that life, just saying.

Make Time to Dance in Your Socks

By: Reign Boxley-Martin

“[Bey] has 100,000 amazing songs…Yeah, [we] dance to [them] in our socks!”

–Rapper Jay-Z mentions during an interview with Angie Martinez of New York’s Hot 97.

Jay-Z and Beyonce' dancing in Cannes

 What a wonderful reminder this was for me to just let my hair down and enjoy the life that the Almighty saw fit to bless me with.  As I read this statement, I couldn’t help but wonder when or why I had stopped dancing in my socks.  Was it when my siblings and I suddenly lost my father 3 years ago, almost 4 months shy of his 48^th birthday?  Was it when the economy went to hell, and all of a sudden it took twice as much money to keep the cars gassed up or the fridge full of food?  Was it when I found myself unhappy in my 9-to-5?  I honestly can’t pinpoint the when or why, but it happened.

I have to commend Jay-Z and Bey for taking the time to focus on life and for sharing this tidbit of information with the world.  Some of you are going to say that they have the financial means to be able to create a happy life.  Does being a billionaire have anything to do with it?  No, it doesn’t, simply because enjoying life as we know it doesn’t always require a lot of money.  Someone, please tell me how dancing around the house or spending quality chill time with a loved one will cost you anything more than time, maybe a few bucks and a few laughs…I dare you.

   

Find your balance...

Often times, we tend to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and truly forget to live.  The fact is that this world has always, and will continue to be a hard place to be for most of us.  When we get caught up in the stresses of life, we tend to let go of the things that bring us the most happiness…there’s something wrong with that picture.  Creating a balanced life is not about having a ton of money, friends or material things.  It actually starts with being able to put the negative to the side for a moment, and taking the time to unwind despite your current situation.  Working towards a more balanced life will give you the physical and mental capacity to work towards creating the life that you want to have.  In the meantime, focus on being the best you that you can be, and continue to strive to create a lifetime of moments where you find yourself dancing in your socks.

What is your vision of a balanced life?

While we are all upset, discouraged and saddened by the events involving the murder of Trayvon Martin, I am hoping that it has ignited a fight within all to continue to live life to the fullest, enjoying each day as though it is your last.  Many of us initially saw this as yet another thing that we’ll have to worry about, and it is.  Our country has taken yet another turn in the wrong direction.  However, it is how we handle it and apply it to our lives that will make all the difference.  Allowing hatred and ignorance to get the best of us is not the answer.  Know that there are things that we can do to bring awareness to the situation, but that it is equally important to lead by example by showing our youth that it is possible to have a normal, happy, balanced life, regardless of stereotypes and stigmas that have/will continue to plague our communities for years to come.  Strive to live a life that is so different from the stereotype that we begin to change the perception within our own communities, which will then make us stronger as a people.

YOLO

This has to start in our homes.  How many of you want to look back on your 50^th wedding anniversary and have an overload of happy memories, those times when you just took the time to live?  How many of you want your kids to remember that time when mommy and daddy were dancing around the house in their socks, laughing and loving one another as parents should?  While we are examining the idea of “dancing in our socks” as a metaphor, it can also be literal.  I actually remember one of happiest childhood memories is of my parents dancing around the house once as a way to make us laugh as kids.

  

I don’t know about you all, but my husband and I have begun to take steps towards creating more of an enjoyable life for ourselves and our future children.  This world is not FUBU (For Us, By Us) by any means, so we have decided to take matters into our own hands where our own lives are concerned.  We will no longer allow the stresses of life into our home, and we will take the time to “dance in our socks” more often.  We will continue to work hard to create happy memories that we intend to share at our 50^th wedding anniversary with the ones nearest and dearest to our hearts.  Who knows, literally dancing around the house in our socks just might make the list!

About to be there, about to do that…about to live that life, just saying.

What Happens in ______, Stays in _______!

By: Reign

Some of us will fill in those blanks with the word “Vegas”.  Others will fill in the blanks with “the House”, because that’s what you’ve been taught by your parents or guardian as a child.  It’s totally understandable that some things are better left unsaid, like the things that happened in Vegas, New Orleans or Miami…but there is a fine line when it comes to things that happen at home or even out in public.

As a young girl, I remember being bothered by things that were happening around me and not being able to talk about it with anyone because I was always told that whatever “happens in this house, stays in this house”.  Knowing that I couldn’t talk to anyone about the things that were bothering me led me right into the arms of fiction novels, which became my escape and led to a whole other set of problems.

Sweeping things under a rug, and pretending that your children are not being affected is not going to help anyone.  If “what happens in the house, stays in the house” is truly that important to you and your family, it then becomes your duty to allow this dialogue to take place within the confines of your home as a family.

 

A close family bond produces happy, healthy and productive youth.

Too often, I hear of stories where young girls and boys had a rough childhood, and were unable to talk to anyone about it.  Often times, they ended up releasing their pent up frustrations as an adult which ultimately landed them in unfavorable situations. Is this really fair to our youth?  Is this really fair to society as a whole?

Let’s do something about it before it becomes a problem.

Doing your part could be something as simple as providing an outlet for our youth to be able to effectively communicate concerns and frustrations.  Whether you take matters into your own hands or seek professional assistance, allowing your child to have that dialogue will be huge in the long run.  It might even make the difference between a child that goes off to college and a successful career vs. one with low self-esteem that turns to the wrong people and lives the fast life in order to find happiness.

Not sure where to start?  No worries, we’ve got you covered with a couple of tips and ideas on how to get the ball rolling.

·         Call a family meeting: Use this time to actually discuss any topics that may be of concern for any family members.  This meeting can be tailored to fit your family’s lifestyle, and can even be held during dinner.  Keep the mood light and encourage participation from all members.  Consistency is key, so figure out when these meetings are to be held and stick to them.

Family Night should be fun, and will draw everyone closer.

    

Family Day/Night:  Try to pick at least one day out of the week to spend the day together as a family.  Family Game or Movie Days are an inexpensive way to bring everyone together that will create tons of happy memories and encourage positive communication from everyone involved.  If you don’t mind spending a little money, a trip to the zoo or even to the local ice cream parlor will do the trick.

·         One on One: If you have more than one child, look for ways to spend more one on one time with each.  Use this time to create happy memories, and positive communication to learn more about what’s going on in their lives.  Encourage them to be open and honest with you.  Try not to lose your cool if they happen to trust you enough to tell you something that you might not want to hear.  This is how you begin to build their trust when it comes to discussing things that are bothering them. 

·         Outside Sources:  If you’re not quite comfortable with any of the tips suggested, then seeking outside sources may be the next best thing.  Seeking guidance from your pastor or even a counselor is absolutely better than nothing.  Although this method can’t be categorized as keeping things in the house, the end result is what matters.

For those of us without kids, think of your nieces, nephews, cousins and/or godchildren.  If their guardian isn’t able to make a difference in this area, then maybe you can.

Been there, done that…lived the life and just saying.