What Happens in ______, Stays in _______!

By: Reign

Some of us will fill in those blanks with the word “Vegas”.  Others will fill in the blanks with “the House”, because that’s what you’ve been taught by your parents or guardian as a child.  It’s totally understandable that some things are better left unsaid, like the things that happened in Vegas, New Orleans or Miami…but there is a fine line when it comes to things that happen at home or even out in public.

As a young girl, I remember being bothered by things that were happening around me and not being able to talk about it with anyone because I was always told that whatever “happens in this house, stays in this house”.  Knowing that I couldn’t talk to anyone about the things that were bothering me led me right into the arms of fiction novels, which became my escape and led to a whole other set of problems.

Sweeping things under a rug, and pretending that your children are not being affected is not going to help anyone.  If “what happens in the house, stays in the house” is truly that important to you and your family, it then becomes your duty to allow this dialogue to take place within the confines of your home as a family.

 

A close family bond produces happy, healthy and productive youth.

Too often, I hear of stories where young girls and boys had a rough childhood, and were unable to talk to anyone about it.  Often times, they ended up releasing their pent up frustrations as an adult which ultimately landed them in unfavorable situations. Is this really fair to our youth?  Is this really fair to society as a whole?

Let’s do something about it before it becomes a problem.

Doing your part could be something as simple as providing an outlet for our youth to be able to effectively communicate concerns and frustrations.  Whether you take matters into your own hands or seek professional assistance, allowing your child to have that dialogue will be huge in the long run.  It might even make the difference between a child that goes off to college and a successful career vs. one with low self-esteem that turns to the wrong people and lives the fast life in order to find happiness.

Not sure where to start?  No worries, we’ve got you covered with a couple of tips and ideas on how to get the ball rolling.

·         Call a family meeting: Use this time to actually discuss any topics that may be of concern for any family members.  This meeting can be tailored to fit your family’s lifestyle, and can even be held during dinner.  Keep the mood light and encourage participation from all members.  Consistency is key, so figure out when these meetings are to be held and stick to them.

Family Night should be fun, and will draw everyone closer.

    

Family Day/Night:  Try to pick at least one day out of the week to spend the day together as a family.  Family Game or Movie Days are an inexpensive way to bring everyone together that will create tons of happy memories and encourage positive communication from everyone involved.  If you don’t mind spending a little money, a trip to the zoo or even to the local ice cream parlor will do the trick.

·         One on One: If you have more than one child, look for ways to spend more one on one time with each.  Use this time to create happy memories, and positive communication to learn more about what’s going on in their lives.  Encourage them to be open and honest with you.  Try not to lose your cool if they happen to trust you enough to tell you something that you might not want to hear.  This is how you begin to build their trust when it comes to discussing things that are bothering them. 

·         Outside Sources:  If you’re not quite comfortable with any of the tips suggested, then seeking outside sources may be the next best thing.  Seeking guidance from your pastor or even a counselor is absolutely better than nothing.  Although this method can’t be categorized as keeping things in the house, the end result is what matters.

For those of us without kids, think of your nieces, nephews, cousins and/or godchildren.  If their guardian isn’t able to make a difference in this area, then maybe you can.

Been there, done that…lived the life and just saying.